Well hello there. Seems to have been some time since I sat down and even thought about this little space of the virtual world.
Sorry. Life and such, and alot of the eloquence of the written word for me just got lost in all the noise of said life and happenings in the world.
I wish I could say I went on some grand adventure, well for me it was alot of adventure, alot of changes in the world have affected changes in me. But over all wasn’t much in the adventuring way.
I did have a revelation though. I have thoughts. Shocker. And sometimes those thoughts are pretty strong and opinionated, and most the time I don’t share them, nor attempt to voice them.
I have essentially been muzzling myself in my thoughts and I realized today after a comment was made to me how much I don’t deserve that. See its not so much about the world hearing my thoughts and or even carrying about my thoughts, but more about me caring enough to share those thoughts.
So what was this comment you ask? well it was actually in an email. See I do alot of well I used to do alot of Airsofting, I occasionally get out now as much as I can. And with that I used to do alot of Podcasts on using Airsoft to help with your every day real world training, teaching how to translate alot of the murky waters of the world of military training in a simple applicable way for airsofters to not only keep them engaged, but up their game and bring a bit more honor to a very honor based game.
But see.. I started to get a bit disheartened. I took a break on the podcast for about a year, alot had to do with life, but alot had to do with what I was watching take place in the world of Airsoft. Attacks from politicians, attacks from other players, change and shift in the mentality of the players themselves. It just became a place were I did not feel my assistance was needed nor wanted.
Now I’m not writing this for a pity party. I do what I do alot of times because of my love for it. And teaching is a love of mine. Especially topics I truly enjoy. But I just had to step back. Sometimes you have to.
So I stepped back. At least from the podcast. And thats when things started happening. I started getting emails, I started getting messages on the facebook page for the podcast. And I started noticing something and it was interesting, and very different for me.
“Lex. I just wanted to say thank you for the podcast, it has helped me so much in airsoft and just in life in general.”
And I was thankful and a little taken aback. For those of you who personally know me. I don’t do compliments very well. You want to see the big bearded dude blush. Compliment me, its something even my boss hasnt quiet figured out about me how I duck my head when he tells me I’ve done a good job on a particular thing. I just don’t do compliments.
I’ll hand them out three fold when you’ve earned them. Don’t get me wrong. I just have a hard time accepting them in return.
So I kept responding to the emails as I was able, kept getting these comments back, and folks I’ll be honest. I was shocked. How could a podcast about learning how to buddy rush in airsoft impact some one on a personal level? Frankly I’m still confused I don’t really know.
So I asked. And the answer in response was more flooring then I ever expected to receive.
It wasnt the content. It was how it was being presented. I was speaking to them personally. Taking time out of my day to present them with information that often times people want to learn but can’t find, or have no one to teach them or those who could teach refuse to because its beneath them to teach a kid, or a “airsofter” or a “paintballer”.
I was told, that I made it fun, understandable, and approachable. I didn’t talk down to people.
And as I sat there and read this, at work, I was sort of shocked. See if you’ve read my previous posts you may have caught on I’m in a very unique job. I get the ultimate honor and opportunity to be a teacher on MANY different subjects. And I utterly LOVE it.
And I hate it.
You see I don’t hate it because of what I do, or who I do it with, or who I teach, or spend time with, or even the work itself as frustrating as it can be at times. I mean who doesn’t get frustrated at there job on occasion?
No I hate it because I can’t impact more people. I hate it because I often times see the very things I am being praised for being done to others by a “Supervisor” and not much can be done about it.
Talked down to, insulted, treated as if they are idiots. Often times after a whole show of being the polite individual, “yes of course” “Right away”.
Then that switch kicks and they leave.. and its Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s a real piece of work.
But that’s not what I’m writing this for, to talk about that. That mess I’ve dealt with for Seven years now, maybe we’ll talk about that later. No I want to go back to impacting people on a personal level. No matter what you are talking about.
See I never realized just how powerful passion can be. I mean I knew passion was a very driving force. People have done AMAZING things in regards to Passion. Be it for another person, a believe. What ever the passion is it has moved worlds.
And I was sitting there after I read this and asked myself, what am I passionate about? And I realized.. I’m passionate about ALOT of things. Airsoft and teaching is just one of those things, One that I seem to be more involved in then most.
Alot again goes back to my job. It allows me to blend those passions. And its a humbling experience to realize that just talking about a three to five second buddy rush can be impactful to a person. Then you want a real mind blower.
Be told some one listens to your podcast just for the soul purpose to hear your stories about life events in a game.
So as I was driving home tonight, I decided to dust off this old blog and splash some words on the keyboard. And if folks read it great, and if the don’t I’m going back to my statement I told a young lady who was in a very similar situation about writing a blog “Write for your self and if people read it and enjoy it great. And if they don’t does it really matter?”.
So the Hooba Dooba is still broken, I doubt we’ll ever figure out how to fix that damn thing,(Yep see I new I’d get a curse word in there some place), and I’m not sure how often I’ll actually sure when I’ll put the proverbial paper to pen and put something on here, (hopefully more often then three years at a stretch).
You all can help with that to, Ask me questions, doesn’t matter how ridiculous or serious. I’ve come to find in recent months I typically like learning new things and if I don’t know I’ll educate myself and then I’ll have an opinion on the matter and I’ll share it. (me having opinions is an interesting concept..)
With that, I’m going to wrap this up, I’ve got some emails to respond to. So I want to leave you with this thought.
Sparkling water tastes like the south end of a north bound mule.
Be humble, be honorable and learn something new every day.
And Dance even if mentally. Life’s to short not to.
A little music to dance to